Forgiveness
Bitterness keeps the wound open. Scripture calls Christians to heal, stay tenderhearted, and restore relationships when repentance comes.
If you are in crisis — if you are thinking of harming yourself or someone else, or you are not safe — call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), or call 911. This page is not emergency care.
Care course · Forgiveness
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”Ephesians 4:32 (ESV)
Drawn from the congregation’s teaching series What Christians Should Know About Mental Health, taught by Jason Cheney (elder; LPC — EMDR and PCIT certified). Counseling is wise help under Christ; it does not replace the gospel, repentance, or the assembly of the saints.
Series source. Congregation teaching — Forgiveness Grand Junction (healing relationships; Joseph, Moses, Christ)
Why forgiveness matters
Jesus taught His disciples to pray for forgiveness and then said, “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matthew 6:14–15). An unforgiving heart is not a small personality quirk. It confesses a break with God.
Before you read further, ask honestly: is there anyone you have not forgiven? The question is pastoral, not theatrical. Souls are at stake when bitterness becomes a lifelong companion.
The challenge: wounded hearts
Forgiveness is hard because people wound us deeply. Picture a knife left in the wound—kept there so others can see the injury, retold at every opportunity, inspected in the mirror until anger flares again. That is how grudges work. The challenge is not merely saying the word “forgive.” It is letting the wound heal so the heart can become tender again.
Some refuse to heal and carry the knife for decades. Scripture warns that bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and slander must be put away, along with all malice (Ephesians 4:31). A soul that nurses those things is in danger.
When must we forgive?
Jesus said, “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him” (Luke 17:3–4). Full restoration of relationship waits on repentance. Forgiveness, biblically understood, is restoration of a broken relationship—like the father who waits for the prodigal and runs when he returns (Luke 15).
That does not license hatred until then. Even before someone comes to their senses, Christians are not allowed to carry wrath, grudges, bitterness, or slander. Hearts must stay tender and actions kind (Ephesians 4:31–32). You may not yet be able to restore the relationship; you still must dress the wound, find peace, and refuse to sit in God’s seat with revenge.
Joseph — purpose as a salve
Joseph was sold by his brothers, falsely accused, and imprisoned. He wept repeatedly and named his sons in the shadow of sorrow (Genesis 41:50–52). Yet when his brothers feared revenge, he said, “Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today” (Genesis 50:19–20).
Purpose is a great salve. Seeing yourself inside God’s larger work—perhaps as light near a hard person, as protection for others, or as a place of growth (James 1:2–4)—helps the wound close. We believe that for those who love God all things work together for good (Romans 8:28).
Moses — humility as a salve
Israel wounded Moses again and again. Even Miriam and Aaron spoke against him (Numbers 12:1–2). Scripture immediately notes that Moses was very meek (Numbers 12:3)—and he soon pleaded with God for Miriam’s healing (Numbers 12:13). Humility stopped bitterness before it could harden.
Are we any better than those who hurt us? We injure people without noticing. Humility refuses to stand above the offender and lets compassion return.
Jesus — understanding as a salve
At the cross Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). He was forgiving toward those who crucified Him, toward the lost He saw as sheep without a shepherd (Matthew 9:36), toward Jerusalem (Luke 19:41), and even toward the rich young man He looked at and loved (Mark 10:21).
Understanding does not excuse sin. It softens a heart that was ready to harden. Sometimes you have to dig for one true thing that makes compassion possible. Compassion is not approval of evil; it is the beginning of healing so that, when repentance comes, restoration can be complete.
Heal, then restore
Forgiveness is healing relationships. Find what salve God gives you—purpose, humility, understanding—and use it. If God can forgive us though we are chief of sinners, we can learn to heal from the wounds the world and brethren inflict. Counseling may help carry bitterness and trauma; it does not replace repentance, the gospel, or the oversight of elders. For crisis danger, call or text 988 or 911. This page is not emergency care.